I feel as if I hold the pain of my people.... I don't mean as in my family.... Not my brothers, sister, mother uncles or anyone like that. See for us, even though things may not be perfect, we are all healthy, safe, employed and relatively happy. No, the people I speak about are the people here in the South Bronx and Uptown. My very first experience with the tragedies of this life was when I was a child..... See, it must have been close to Christmas time or something because I remember having on a big coat. I was entering a subway line that was located in a building somewhere in Mid Town Manhattan. Sitting there was a woman with children. I don't remember if there were two or three kids, but I do know they were sitting, bundled up closely, big jackets, and suitcases. And in front of them was a sign.
I didn't read the sign, because being from New York, everything I described to you is a telltale sign of some one who is homeless. I continued to walk with my mom and after about 10 paces, I let go of her hand, ran back to the woman and her kids. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the only quarter I had. My allowance when I was young was a quarter a day. Enough for a bunch of pieces of candy or a "quarter water" or a bag of chips. I gave that quarter to the woman. She smiled at me an nodded. I don't remember if I smiled back, but I remember running back to my mom and grabbing her hand. We walked down to the subway and went home. I don't think it was the fact that the woman was homeless that makes this memory so vivid. I believe its that she had children with her and the fact that she smiled at me. At the time, I didn't think I was doing anything morally virtuous, I just knew it felt good to do it.
This relates a lot to my area, "'my people" as you were. See, from the time I began high school and started taking the subway to school, I had to walk past a lot of older Hispanic and Black people, that at 7:20 in the morning, were already starting to assemble in front of the bodega (grocery store). Located on the corner of 160th ST and Westchester Ave in the Bronx, it was the rallying point for all these people, many of whom were possibly the same age as my mom or older. They never left that corner. They would be there all day. Their bodies a mess, faces ravaged by time, alcohol and drugs. They never bothered anybody nor did they cause trouble. They were there because it was all they knew.
On that same block is a methadone clinic. The people, my people, that were gathering there that early were actually getting in line so they could receive their treatment. I often tell the young men I coach and the students at my old high school that "The Decisions You Make Today, Will Affect Everything You Do Tomorrow"... Now, yes, we all make bad choices and most of us are apologetic about them and also learn not to make them again.... But what about those that don't learn... See, I could never condemn those people standing on that corner all day for making bad decisions, because in reality I don't know what influenced their decisions. But I feel for them....
Maybe too much at times. I feel for homeless people, especially those that are young or with children. And all too many times I lend a helping hand... Once, at a McDonalds, a very young kid came and told me he was just out of prison, had no ID and couldn't get any because he didn't have his Birth Certificate. He tells me he has his girlfriend and two daughters back at his place and they are hungry. He was outside this McDonalds begging for change to try and feed his kids..... Now, instead of giving him money, I bought them all food..... Not because of him... He was old enough to fend for himself. No, for those two little girls.... who may not have existed and if so, so be it... But if they did, as Wesley Snipes said in White Men Can't Jump, "If I don't take care of my people, who will?"
Talk to you soon....
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