It Doesn't Concern You

Woman: So tell me how many girlfriends you've had.
Man: Huh?
Woman: You heard me, how many women have been in your life?
Man (while looking amazed): Uh, that's not your business...
Woman (screaming): THE F**K IT AIN'T!

Look, I am not pinning this topic all on women.... Because I am sure that there are many men that have tried to pull this type of stunt before..... But, my question is, why??? What drives this person to ask us about our past? Where does this behavior come from? It's one thing to want know about our childhood, but something completely different when trying to delve into our relationships and other personal matters.... In all reality.... no, it's not your business....

We all have a past.... Be it a good one or a bad one, we have all done something in our life that we would want to keep personal. Maybe we anonymously  donated a million dollars to charity or we have a body buried beneath our basement. But whatever it may be, we feel it is something that no one should know about or even ask about. We should have some level of privacy in our lives. If everyone was an open book, it would create so much mayhem. It would allow others to take full advantage of the things we hold near and dear or feel strongly about. Also, there are things we may have done in our past, skeletons in the closet as you will, that we may not be proud of..... As they say, some things are better left unsaid....

Should your significant other really know about who came before them? Should they have the right to such knowledge? School House Rocks used to say "Knowledge is Power!" And honestly, knowing who we used to date definitely gives that person power over us... It allows them to make a scene when the ex is around... Become extra attached and possessive..... Act a damn fool basically.... And guess what, a gentleman or lady doesn't show their ass out no matter who is around.... Such behavior is despicable to the highest extent.... And for the question to even be broached is a sad turn in a relationship....

How you treat the person you are with is what ultimately matters... Maybe you have disrespected an ex... Cursed them out... Argued, put them down... Maybe there are extenuating circumstances that made you behave that way...  Or maybe you're just a complete asshole and should die a slow painful death.... But none of that matters when you are with your new love interest.... Because as long you are truthful, honest, faithful and devoted to them, then your past should never come into question....  Their main concern should be how we are with them, not who we are before them....

Everyone can change... Yes time and time again it is shown to be almost impossible, but people can grow  up... Change is possible.... So your past my influence who you are, but your present and future are just as big a factor... When asked about the skeletons in our closets we usually shut down and become defensive.... And for good reason... Because it's not that other person's business... Who we have been with does not concern them... And if they become adamant about these things, it shows that they have a high level of insecurity in themselves.... An inferiority complex.... And every one you speak to or laugh with when they are around they instantly get jealous... They walk over to you, put their arm around you like they are marking their territory... If they had any trust in you and confidence in themselves, they would know you are going home with them.... But sadly, they don't... and now your stuck being "owned" the rest of the time you are with them....

I wish I could offer advice on how to handle these situations.... On how avoid these people... As if there was some tell-tale sign on who they are.... But, there aren't.... And once the question "Who have you been with?" is asked, you're screwed... Its time for you to either put that person in check and become the asshole or leave them.... Because telling them "It doesn't concern you" isn't going to make them drop the subject... It turns them into the possessive person they are..... At that point, just run..... really really far.... And get yourself out of that dilemma.... For your own sanity....

Talk to you soon.....