Head to the Sky

I was supposed to write about something I saw a couple days ago.... very funny topic, but for another day..... Today is the Funeral Mass for my Dad.... He passed away a few weeks ago, and even though our relationship wasn't the strongest, I still miss him deeply.... I guess that's how it works right? you're supposed to miss the person that was half responsible for giving you life.... As I get ready for this day, I look back to how he and I left off last and I smile because it was a good time.... We Baptized my nephew that weekend and my Dad was here to rejoice in that blessed moment with us.... He and I had good conversations and I hugged him for what would be my last time..... I am not upset with that being the last moment I had with him... See, for the longest time I swore I had to confront him with all the anger and sadness he cause me... To lay my cards out on the table and let him know how things were and how they made me feel... But that was not necessary.... Just seeing him with my nephew, happy, for the first time in along time, was enough for me to realize that he had a lot of good qualities that I overlooked because of how angry I was with him.

I felt he was responsible for a lot of the misery in my life. At some point in your life you have to learn to forgive. Even if the person never knew you were angry or mad at them, you need to forgive, even if it is within yourself.... Holding on to all that anger will take over your soul and eat you alive... I took me some time to realize that. And it also took me some time to finally forgive my Dad.... I tell people, he was not the greatest Dad in the world and he wasn't always the best role model..... But everything he did was an example of how I either wanted or did not want to become.... How his qualities would shape me as a man......

So, as I pay my respects today, with family and friends, I do so with a heart that is no longer heavy with anger and full of hate towards him... I love you Dad.... may the Hector Lavoe, Grupo Niche, Gran Combo and Fania All Stars play in your headphones as you dance in Heaven...

 Talk to you soon....