They Say He Boojie, He Big Headed....

Wow, it feels like it has been over a year since I have last written one of these... A lot of events have happened since then and of course I am going to do my best to share them all with you..... First, if this is your first time reading my blog, welcome... On these pages are stories of my life, shared opinions, battles of the sexes and just as the title says, a hodgepodge of an array of an assortment.... If you're a returning reader, thank you for coming back.... I really do appreciate it.... With that said, here we go....

The Urban Dictionary Definition of Boojie = Fancy. Derived from the French word bourgeoisie which means middle class. They were never content on being middle class and strived for the best, the upper "fancy"' class.Therefore Boojie = Fancy.... or Wannabe fancy..

When I graduated college in 2003, I tried really hard to get a job back home in NYC, but wasn't able to. Instead, I interviewed for positions out in the South Jersey/Philadelphia area and landed a position at Drexel University. Through my job I was afforded the opportunity to eat at some really nice restaurants throughout the city and even ate at a really fancy restaurant located in Rittenhouse Square. With these new experiences, I saw what it was like to pay a pretty penny for meals I would normally not be able to pay for on my own.... The restaurant in Rittenhouse was very good, 5 courses in total: Appetizer, Salad, Palate Cleanser, Main Course and Dessert. Now, that sounds like  lot of food and if you know me, I am a food addict. But sadly, this was a fancy high end restaurant, so all the servings were made for human beings... DAMNIT, I'M AMERICAN! I WANT MY FOOD SUPER-SIZED! Big Steaks, Big sides of potatoes, 2000 calorie desserts and buffalo styled whatever with bowls of ranch dressing! Feed me!!!! So On my way home, I stopped off at McDonalds and tore into the dollar menu.....

Now, just because I have had a couple of meals in some fancy shmancy places, it no way makes me ready to take over the "Food Review" section of the New York Times.... It just means I was lucky enough in life to have some great dining experiences (even if I wound up in a drive thru window afterwards).... While in Philadelphia I also made some great friends and met a great girl too... She was best friends with a girl from St. Lucia. Miss St. Lucia had a lot of friends from the Caribbean. They came off to me as a little stuck up and unfriendly, unless you were part of the clique of course. And even then, I could see the hate in their eyes as they would try to climb the ladder out of poverty and up to success. They were boojie to say the least.

I have known people from the islands for years. My mom used to work with a group of them for more than 20 years. And these people were so cool and friendly. We've gone to their houses for BBQ's and even to the small restaurant one of them opened. So, I am not stereotyping people from the islands as boojie, just that group of friends from Miss St. Lucia.....

I guess one of them was having a birthday and decided she wanted to go to the new "'hot spot" in Philly, some soul food place that will remain nameless... We get there and are told there is an hour and a half wait. Now anyone hearing that would have a couple things come to mind: 1. The place is really popular and 2. The food must be that damn good..... Well, i guess one out of two isn't bad.... Too bad it was the first one and not the second... I got the menu and ordered my favorites: The Southern Friend Chicken, Macaroni and Cheese and Collard greens..... Everyone at my table basically ordered the same thing... Uh, some body cue the Sugar Hill Gang please, because "My Macaroni's Sour, the Greens all Mush and the Chicken tastes like wood!" DISGUSTING MEAL! And I had to pay $25 for this menace to my lower intestines!!! But what astonished me the most were the group of "boojie birds" sitting all around me! "Oh this meal is amazing! This chicken is so tender and succulent! The vegetables compliment everything so well and add a splash of color to the arrangement!" WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?! Come on son, come on son.... This meal wouldn't be served in public schools... The only reason I even ate it was because I was paying for this shit! I looked at my then girlfriend and she was joining in with the Boojie Birds... I just shook my head and when we left, I made a bee-line towards the nearest Drive thru.... I needed something to take the taste of yuck from my mouth... pause.....

So, not much later, about 3 weeks or so, there was another birthday.... I forget who's exactly nor do I care to remember. All I know is we were headed to another "'hot spot" in Philly... I wish people would stop reading about what others think about a particular place and using that as part of their own opinion.... Make up your own mind on things and maybe you'll know what it is to not be a slave to "trends". Whatever. So we wind up at a Latin American restaurant. The place was decorated very nicely, lots of colors and a well dressed staff. So, to my mind I'm thinking, yea, this can actually be decent. Was I ever wrong...

The menu reminded me of all the Spanish restaurants here in NYC.... Rice, Beans, some type of meat, poultry or fish and plantains (platanos). Although they plated it nicely, it tasted like ordinary Spanish food... My steak and onions were extra dry, my beans had no taste and I didn't know Latin people ate sticky rice.... Dear god, why do we have to overcook everything?!?!?! Needless to say, I didn't enjoy my meal.... But, I forgot who  I was dining with. The Boojie Birds got at it again "Oh! This rice is superb. The beans have a rich intense flavor. You can almost feel the summer air breezing by as you bite into the salmon! And the drinks are a perfect blend where you don't taste alcohol, but just pure "sabor" (Spanish for flavor, and when you're boojie, you have to show you can speak another languge)!" My personal favorite comment was "Oh, the herbs and spices are just exploding in my mouth!"'

OK THAT'S IT! BITCH,  I GOT SOME EXPLOSIVE FLAVORS FOR YOUR MOUTH!!! This food is disgusting! I am paying $40 for a steak that costs me $12 back home! My rice should not resemble the shape of a snowball and the texture of chunky style glue! The gravy for my beans should not be clear and the beans themselves should not crunch! Holy shit! what is wrong with you people?!?!?! You're eating typical, everyday ethnic comfort food, are paying outrageous prices for it and acting like you've never eaten it before!!! Most of you grew up in grass huts where all you could afford were rice and beans! Fried chicken shouldn't taste like drywall and macaroni shouldn't smell like spoiled breast milk! What the hell?!?!?! Has the idea of trying to be more than you actually are clouded your judgement? When you look in the mirror, do you actually like what you see??? For the sake of all that is holy, get over yourselves, you're not that important!!!!

Now, all these thoughts ran through my mind and all would have been fine.... But, I actually said this out loud... And very loud...... Yup, I am the epitome of class... I slowly got up from the table, kissed my ex on the forehead, grabbed my coke n rum and waited at the bar.... As everyone left, I didn't even glance their way... I got in my car with the girlfriend, looked her in the eyes with my eyes full of sorrow and asked her quietly, "'Baby, where's the nearest drive thru?"

Talk to you soon.....

Toe to Toe Tuesday: Breaking Point, The Dating Period...

So you've finally met some one that you would really like to talk to. All those hours spent looking at profiles on all of the different online dating sites, all of the "hook ups" from your friends, all the dates that ended before they started and all those nights of hitting up bars clubs and lounges trying to find love are finally over! You finally have some one that you want to share some time with and hope that things grow into more than just a casual acquaintance. I mean, after all, you're a decent guy right? You work, you pay bills, you dress fashionably, but still have those "guy clothes", t-shirts, jeans, sneakers, hooded sweatshirts. Your friends, even the female ones, think your a great person and it has all paid off!

You and your new romantic interest talk for hours each night. You can't put down the phone and during the day you send little text messages saying you're thinking about her. After a couple of good dates and some getting to know each other time, things seem to be going well. That is, until you notice it. That thing... That little annoyance that gets to you all the time. Then it's another and then another. And soon, you can't stand it anymore. All the things that irk you and make you want to pull your hair out have compounded into what is the last straw: dropping the chick like a bad habit... or to be more blunt, dropping her because of her bad habits!

The following are just some of the turnoffs that can lead you to go insane:

• Her inability to speak proper English.... We're not looking for a work of literary genius here, just some one that can form full intelligible sentences.... Full thoughts are always welcome here ladies...
• The way she smells #1... Girls are supposed to smell pretty.... Yes, we know you just came back from the gym and worked up a sweat.... now take your ass upstairs and give it a good scrubbing before you come lay on top of me.... Nasty
• The way she smells #2.... I don't mind giving you a foot rub after you worked 12 hours on your feet all day... I do mind you thinking it has to happen before you washed them.... Just cause your feet hurt doesn't mean I want my hands to smell like "Oh Shit!" or "Cot Damn!".... Go wash them!!!!
• Same clothes, 3 days in a row... Oh hell naw!!! Look, I know you stood over for the weekend and we barely left the house, but you could have packed a bag or something! How are you going to ask me to take you out for breakfast 2 days in a row and you still got on the same jeans, socks and draws! I don't care if you showered! Your womanly parts are covered in 2 day old undergarments! 
• Always bringing up your ex.... I get it, you hate him and he's a worthless piece of human life .... Let's move on before I move on by my damn self!
• Making me watch "The Notebook"... Look, my estrogen level is set to zero... Non-Existent... It is 2011 and a rough economy. If that movie took place today, she would have stayed with the rich guy.
• Talking baby talk..... No, i don't wanna give u a kissy kissy or a smoochy and calling my "friend" by any cutesy name turns him weak, if u get my drift.... You're a grown woman, talk like it.... "Baby" is fine, so is "Sweety or Sweetheart" or even "Hun" and since I am latin "Pa or Papi".... No pumpkin, no hunny bunny, no shnookums... BLAH!
• Always talking about your male friend.... If he's a friend, thats fine... but you talk about him so much I thought you were dating him and I was the friend... Cut that shit out...
• Constantly texting when we are together.... I hate when my friends do it and I really hate when you do it... Drop a message and get the point across quickly so we can get back to "us" or I will text you goodbye while I walk out the door....
• Same goes for phone calls and Facebook.... I am with you for personal time, not social networking....
• And tweets....
• Going through my phone and personal belongings... If you see my phone on the dresser and it rings or I get a text, you have no right to answer it this early into the relationship.... When I give you the password to it is when you have that right... Until then, just shout out to me that its ringing.....
• Calling my mom "Mom".... She is not your mother.... If she was, this would be incest.... 
• Calling me the wrong name.... Yeah, I'm out....
• Ordering a salad for dinner.... THAT IS NOT A MEAL!
• Not attempting to cook for me.... you don't have to be Julia Childs in the kitchen and even if you can't cook, try... but if your idea of home cooking is Popeye's 10 piece for $10 with a box of Kraft Mac n Cheese, you're gonna be lonely a whole lot of nights....
• Thinking I always want to be around your friends... Look, here and there during these first few months we can chill with them.... But if you keep bringing me around them, chances are I'm gonna find interest in one.... And well, yea, she'll know not to bring me around her friends.... 
• And finally.... Getting too comfortable too soon... Its still early in this budding relationship... You have a responsibility to always look cute and sexy... You still have to hold in all bodily functions and should not show up to any date in sweats or torn jeans.... Look good damnit.... If I can go out of my way to look presentable, so should you....

Well ladies, I hope you get the point. Guys are just as superficial as you are and although we tell you how great things are going, once that breaking point is reached, We are gone faster than a one night stand....

Don't' forget to read La Latina Loquita's point of view on this matter......

Talk to you soon......

Pet Peeve: Nouveau Mince (New Skinny)

You know the type.... While they were wearing that XXL jacket you were the only friend in the world to them. You never mentioned their weight because to you, they were more than just a physical being. They were a human, just like you.... Feelings and emotions. And yes, maybe you discussed toe weight before, but you always gave them encouragement. You let them know that no matter how big or small they are, you would always be a true friend. And when they spoke about wanting to lose the weight, you helped them form a plan and even went shopping with them for healthier snacks. And yes, you still had the occasional unhealthy meal with them, but for the most part you wanted to help them feel great about themselves. Then it finally happens. They dropped the weight. From a XXL they are down to a medium. All that hard work paid off. The tears they shed on your shoulder are all dried up. The hours on the treadmill and laps in the pool have all been worth it! Finally, your dear friend is skinny! And maybe you are still a bit large, not XXL large, but L-XL.... And maybe you are working on that, or you are more than happy the way you are.... But just when you think you and your friend can hit the town with confidence and not have to try and find clothes to hide those love handles, your friend forgets who you are.... THEY ARE NOW ONE OF THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE

Thats right, they are now part of those elite humans that can only be seen with people of their ilk. They shop for a whole new wardrobe, get invited to all the best parties and leave your ass at home at every chance because their new friends is so much better than the you. You know, those new friends that wouldn't look at them before the weight loss. That probably pointed and cracked jokes; the type of things you never would have done.  But oh how soon we forget! Nope, New Skinny (Nouveau Mince in French) is better off without you, True Friend. Nope, Nouveau;s life is exactly where they want it and you no longer matter to them. Ignored emails and text messages, hurried phone calls, cancelled plans, not showing up for events. Yea, you know what I mean.... WHO THE HELL DO THEY THINK THEY ARE?!?!?!?!?!

You know, sometimes people need a taste of reality. Let me tell you, for most of my life I was a pretty fit and thin dude. But now, not so much. But I am working on it. I want to be fit again. But not at the expense of my friends. No, for my own happiness. Because I like to shop for trendy clothes that I look good in... And I want to wear fitted jeans to go out in, instead of settling for the "relaxed fit" ones. My friends accept me for who I am on the inside. Not what I look like on the outside. People that decide they are all of a sudden to good for their friends because they some how upgraded their life are sad and empty individuals indeed. They seem to forget who was their with them through "thick and thin". That they are basically one cheeseburger away from going to back to wearing those Lane Bryant stretch jeans or the Big n Tall Section at the Men's Wearhouse. Nouveau really thinks they are the shit. They try to repress what it was like being large and in charge. Nouveau, even with all the weight loss, still lacks confidence and self esteem. And these "new" friends of theirs aren't going to help them with that. Nope, you were the person responsible for that, and now they have alienated you and made it seem as if you were only a stepping stone to a new life, not a friend to have...

Well, to hell with them! Karma they say is a bitch. What happens when all the glamor is washed away from their new life. What happens when they do start to put back on that weight? You know, the 5 to ten pounds during the holidays that turn into 20-40 lbs during the winter. What happens when you start getting text messages and emails and phone calls? Do you ignore them or do you stay the friend you once were and answer? I Say fuck'em.... Keep it moving.... they had no problem lighting that bridge on fire when they got skinny, so I say that that mother f***er burn! Show them what it is like to feel like you are begging for a friend... How you waited for them to show up at your place so you can go to the movies, only to get stood up because they were at a nightclub instead. Naw, to hell with them.... Keep it moving and go on with your life, the same way they did to you. I know they say to forgive. And I never said you shouldn't... But it doesn't mean you have to accept them back into your life. You can forgive them and still say go to hell at the same time.... Because in all true reality, you were in hell waiting for them to be a friend back to you.... Maybe they will realize that the next time they feel like being Nouveau....

Talk to you soon......

America the Joke...

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. That whenever any form of government becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness. "
-The Declaration of Independence...


Look, I am not a political expert. I don't even dabble in that vertical. What I am is an American with an education, a mind that reaches far beyond books and builds knowledge off of experience. I have opinions and insight on many topics. I love to talk about history, especially when I am ignorant on the topic and can gain something from the conversation. I really enjoy conversing about religion because I like to have an understanding as to why many groups behave and praise the way that they do. But politics is a subject I stay away from for the most part.


This is possibly because I am ignorant on it. Or maybe because it makes my blood boil when I hear total utter non-sense from some self righteous asshole. My theory on politics is that it is similar to a whorehouse: If you haven't been fucked by it yet, don't worry, you will.... Oh, and that those within it are filthy and diseased.... The tragedy that is the American economy has made living in this country unbearable. And the way that politicians are going about trying to fix it is even more of a joke.


The American citizens out in the Mid-West are learning first hand what the American Government feels about their contributions to this oh so great land. Today, Wisconsin Republicans took the back door approach and voted in Governor Scott Walker's proposed bill to restrict the Collective Bargaining power of the state's public employees. Walker Calls it "Budget Repair". I call it an attack on this bullshit we call democracy. Yes, Democrats should have been there to debate and fight for what they felt was right.... And yes, instead they "fled" to Illinois so as to say they were shutting the state government down. But to hell with all of them. The republicans are bitches for try getting the bill passed without a full forum and the democrats are bitches for not fighting for their respective voters. And now the blue collar Wisconsin employee is basically stripped of his rights to collectively bargain for a better life and pay. "'That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed."
I am pretty sure the good people of Wisconsin voted these politicians into office to fix the problems of the state, not to fuck them over and add to the situation. 


In Michigan today, the Senate passed a bill giving Emergency Financial Managers the right to basically void contracts from unions and do whatever is necessary to fix the budget. Again, the little man is given the shaft by the people he voted in because he trusted they wouldn't screw them over. How foolish we are as Americans. To give total financial control to one person is nuts in itself. But to then give him the power to void collectively bargained contracts. These mother fuckers need to be killed publicly. And no, I am not joking. 


You want to know how to fix the problems out in Michigan? Bring back the Auto companies that left because its cheaper to build a car in a foreign country. Give people a reason to live again, work hard, support families. Don't dole out this bullshit and call it a necessary measure. What was necessary was to make sure companies stayed and people were employed. Laws allowing companies to base their manufacturing and operations out in other countries are total garbage. How can we say "Buy American" when the only thing still made 100% here is the coonery we call reality television (I will be touching that topic soon). 


Iowa is next on this list of states thats about to bend its citizens over a pommel horse and give them the "Marsellus Wallace"  Pulp Fiction treatment (look it up). Please realize ladies and gentlemen, the government is doing anything and everything it can to make the American suffer for their mistakes. For their history of misdealing. And for their history of letting this "global" economy take place everywhere else but here. 


"That whenever any form of government becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness."


WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO GET THESE PEOPLE OUT OF OFFICE! TO FIGHT FOR WHAT IS OURS! The problem is, who do we vote in? More democrats? Give me a fucking break. They ran to another state in Wisconsin rather than fight for its constituents. Republicans? HA! These rich fucks are trying to get richer off the 85% of Americans that struggle everyday to make a livable wage, and yet they make it seem like its "the right thing to do" by taking away our "unalienable rights". How about the independent parties? Maybe.... but once money from the private sector and special interests groups is waved in their face, are they still going to be independent for the people or independent from the people??? 


Like I said before, I am not a political expert. Just an American with a mind and opinions. What our government is doing to us is unacceptable. And we need to let them know that. But for some reason I feel we will do as Americans do and protest a little bit until we get tired then just give up. Maybe we should take lead from the Libyans and Egypt. Hit the streets of our governments and overthrow the tyrannical bastards that are trying to send us into poverty faster than a rabbit gets fucked. Or maybe we'll just be Americans.... You know, get tired and accept it...


Talk to you soon.....
  

Toe to Toe Tuesday: Lie to Me

        cartoon used is property of Baloo cartoons

"Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy." - George Carlin


It is the basis for every relationship in the world. Whether it be between lovers, parents and children, business partners or teachers and students, honesty stands alone as the most necessary of virtues. No one enjoys being lied to or feeling as if they can no longer trust those around them. Lies can destroy marriages, friendships  and families. 


But it can also save those same relationships!!!
No, I am not talking about bold face lies like, "No baby, I don't know how those lipsticks stains got on my shirt collar! Thats weird to me too!"  Or when your teenage daughter says something along the lines of, "Mom, I am going to be staying at Jenny's house." And she has her makeup and hair done and is dressed like a streetwalker.


No, I am talking about lies that will keep you out of trouble and possibly give you a stay from having to sleep on the couch. You know the lies... "No baby, that dress doesn't make you look fat." or "Baby, I love when your mom visits!" Yeah those types of lies. They are commonly known as little white lies and when used properly, they not only make you look like a great person, but they allow you to spare a persons feelings and not have them want to hurt you physically.... 


Yes, I have told a few lies in my day, most of them of the non-hurtful variety. I have lied to girlfriends, parents, teachers, friends, coworkers and strangers. And I am pretty sure they have all lied to me. See, what matters most is the degree of the fib being told. I can honestly say (no pun intended) that I don't mind being lied to if you are trying to spare me from being completely heartbroken. I think the major thing is that you make the lie something so small that I forget it and never bring it up again. Because in reality, if somehow I find out you lied to me, well, than things can get ugly. And that goes for any of us. We begin to question whether or not the relationship between us is even worth the time or the effort. 


Lies should follow the KISS rule... Keep it simple stupid. Don't try and get extravagant with it. Make it something one would never be able to prove... "I have to watch my little brother or sister tonight." As long as I don't have your parents on Facebook, this lie works great. Or "I am not feeling to well, I can't make it out." Hey, how do I know how you feel? My personal favorite, and ladies this is your go to lie, "Hunny not tonight, I have a headache." Now, usually, I know damn well you don't have a headache, but can I prove that? No! Of course not. S, instead of a little loving and cuddling that night, I am left to massage your temples thinking you are in pain. HOW CAN YOU LOSE!?!?!?!?


I am going to make this short because I think you get the point (or am I lying and just don't wanna type anymore)? See, folks, right there.... How do you know what's really going on?!?!?! HAHAHAHAHAHA....


Don't forget to check La Latina Loquita to see how the ladies feel about lies both big and small!


Talk to you soon......