Toe to Toe Tuesdays: Orgasms

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As a new feature here at HPAA every Tuesday my friend, La Latina Loquita and I will be going "Toe to Toe" on one topic. Here you will get a males point of view and on her page you will get the female perspective. Make sure to check out both posts every Tuesday for dueling views, ideas and opinions....
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Woman: (sarcastically) Oooooo baby... yea, you got it... thats the spot... yea, keep going
Man: (feeling like he is the man) DAMN RIGHT BABY! I GOT THIS! HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW!
Woman: (still sarcastically) Yea, you're the man... No one is better.... You're the king
Man: (feeling like he is actually good at this) THIS IS MINE BABY! I OWN THIS!
Woman: (being a sarcastic bitch) Ooooo yea, sure you own this.... Oo Oo Oo I am done.... Get off me..

Fellas, has this ever happened to you..... You think you're working your magic when in reality you're throwing a hot dog down a hallway. She's there, giving you all the encouragement in the world but she truthfully would rather be watching her soaps...... And how dare she act as if she is done.... You haven't even gotten to your finishing move yet! What type of cheap trick is this?!?!?!?..... How dare she fill your head full of false hope?!?!? As if she is any better herself.... You know what I mean, when she is moving her hips like she owns a square hula hoop but she thinks she is a Solid Gold Dancer on there..... See ladies, the fact remains, your little show is tired and ridiculous. And the fact that many of you have turned this into an art-form is disturbing. It does not make your man feel good knowing that he has left you unsatisfied, especially when your lying to him the entire time!

Guys, I know many times we are labeled as selfish when it comes to what happens behind closed doors. But let's' be honest.... Unless its some one we never want to see again, I am pretty sure we put on a spectacle trying to get this woman to become a repeat customer. We don't want her shopping anywhere else. But when she is being a sinner, lying to our face about how great our accomplishments are, when in reality we've failed miserably, well how the hell is this our fault.....

Woman tell lie after lie when we really aren't doing well.... The last thing men need is their ego stroked (no pun intended).... We want the truth Cotdamnit!!!!! Let us know what the hell we are doing wrong. Especially if your'e trying to stay with this dude. Because, yea maybe you can go somewhere else to shop..... But that other place doesn't offer food, clothing and shelter.... And you better believe, you keep going to that other department store, and your ass will be out in the street with all 6 of your kids from those other "MEN" in your life....

Ladies what you need to do is tell your man what he is doing wrong. Make a game out of it... We can handle instructions.... What we can't tolerate is your boldface lies, especially when we know the next argument all you're going to do is throw it in our faces on how "you faked it!" Cause let me tell you, I have the perfect solution for you when it comes to that....

 Fellas, women hold grudges like none other..... Its like a 6th sense.... So when they start throwing the "I faked it!" at you, here's what you do (and yes this is a time tested practice, just like women faking orgasms).... The next time you know you doing things right and she is into it.... And she is squirming trying to get away from you cause she can't handle the pleasure..... Keep going.... and tell her you want to know when she is about to pop..... And once she tells you "Oh my God I'm almost there! Here it comes!".... Guys.... just walk away..... Thats right... even though you may be hurting yourself in the process, her lying ass will be there not knowing what the hell to do.... Screaming at you while she runs around the room looking for her hand held helper.... But nope... she can't find it... Why? Your smart ass hid that shit before you guys even got started..... That'll teach her lying, faking ass....

Ladies, you know damn well, once its gone, its gone and ain't no hope of getting it back..... So, if you don't want to become victim to this, I suggest you show your man what you need him to do..... Teach him... Yeah, maybe he was Superman to the last chick... but guess what, this is new territory with a different layout... Show him the road... Don't be a lying fraud.... And don't gas his head up with just to pop his bubble later on.... trust me, you'll both be much better for it.... And have a lot more fun too....

Talk to you soon.....

(Toe to Toe Tuesdays: Orgasms - Female Point of View)